These are strange and difficult times.
But help is real, and available. Let’s talk via phone or video.
(Sliding scale available for a limited number of clients.)
There’s so many ways to suffer. It can seem to be a part of us, or just endlessly recurring. We do what we can to manage, and we find many ways to live. But those sufferings can shape our sense of things, and limit us, until at times we forget who we are.
But who we are is incredibly durable, resilient, solid and true. It’s our stories of things that confuse and distract, and the powerful emotions they stir… And the patterns of behavior, that help shape our circumstances.
There is much to be done about thoughts that hurt. Much to be learned from the simple experience of feeling. Much we can do to sculpt our behavior, and free ourselves to be ourselves. These are things we can do together, and the fact that you’re reading this right now means you know what I’m talking about. You’ve already learned to face certain feelings. You’ve seen how your mind leads you off track. You’ve changed old patterns and done new things. You’ve grown. And now is a good time to deepen that growth.
Many people, I can help. Some folks, not so much. It’s all about our connection, whether you feel safe and seen in your strength and capability as much as your pain. And whether we share a common language. It’s that way with every therapist.
So. Meeting emotion and letting it be. Challenging mind and telling the truth. Developing strategies that truly serve you, in the world of daily life. These are good things. You deserve good things. And change can be lasting. And life can be much, much, much better.
These are strange and difficult times. Find support, from me or someone else. And remember to exercise, meditate, eat good food, talk to a friend, play games. Take excellent care of yourself. Everyone around you will benefit. And you will find your way.
Peace to all of you.
Getting Started
The most convenient way to reach me is by email, at Nate.Havlick@gmail.com. Setting up an appointment is simple and quick, requiring only a few details. Once set, I’ll send you my intake form to fill out and sign electronically. Then it’s just a matter of how we meet. (I’m not currently meeting face-to-face.) Some people prefer video, which is the closest thing to meeting in person. Others prefer to speak by phone, because it gets them off their computer. Some even go for a walk during session.
Of course, you may have questions first. If there’s more to explore than can be done by email, I’d suggest we arrange to talk by phone. You’re welcome to call between 11am and 6pm during the week – however, scheduling is definitely preferable. I find that most questions can be addressed in around 10-15 minutes. Beyond that, the conversation tends to focus on issues better discussed in session.
While most of my clients pay full fee, I also offer a sliding scale to a limited number of people each month. If money is a currently challenge for you, feel free to call and see if we can make an arrangement that works for us both.
I’ve included some questions below that people often ask at this point. You may find them useful. Either way, I look forward to meeting with you. Peace.
Questions about Counseling
How do I find the right therapist?
Ask questions. Be direct. Find out if they have experience with people in your situation, or with your particular concerns. Ask them to describe how they work with people, and what they expect from their clients in return. Ask any question that comes to you. Are you feeling heard and understood? Notice your experience. Are you feeling safe and supported? Encouraged to be yourself? Studies show that clients who feel cared for by their therapist have the best clinical outcomes.
Of course, you may catch a truly excellent therapist on a bad day. If in doubt, you could always call back. Whatever you do, trust your instincts. Be willing to move on if it doesn’t “feel” right.
How should I prepare for the first session?
It’s fine to simply show up. Or an excellent question you could ask yourself is, “what do I truly want?” This offers focus and direction for the work of therapy. In fact, it’s helpful to ponder before each session, “what do I truly want from today?” It will inform your therapist, and help you test whether you’re getting what you came for.
You might also consider what you don’t want from counseling; what you find scary or challenging about counseling; any special concerns about confidentiality; what you need from your therapist; and what it would actually look like if you got what you wanted.
Or, you could just show up.
How often should I go, and for how long?
Most people do weekly sessions, especially at first. It’s a good way to get started and build momentum. And it helps in maintaining day-to-day progress. Sometimes, a client meets every other week, usually because they’re doing well. Over time, some clients meet 3 or 4 times. Others continue for months or years. Everyone is different.
What makes counseling most effective?
The willingness to really explore your experience – the feelings you avoid, the strengths you didn’t know you had, the things you do that get in your way. Being honest about what it is that you truly want. Persistence. Telling the truth. And choosing to act in new ways, until it becomes natural.
How do I know if therapy’s working?
You can check for the evidence – am I getting what I came for? What did I come for, really? Get specific with your therapist, with things you can verify. Or, just check in. Do you feel more awake, or alive? More open, and clear about somethings? More relaxed or able to be yourself? Whatever you’re wanting, make it a priority. And be sure your therapist has your back.